It’s okay to not know.

It’s easy to get yourself into a negative spiral sometimes. It’s easy to build a picture of how everyone around you knows what they want to do and has a 15 year plan. Not everyone does, but there sure are people who know exactly where they want to be. I, on the other hand am not one of them.

I used to think that I knew, I had this clear path ahead of me. I knew exactly where I wanted to be but something happened and the lights illuminating that path just shut off. That feeling of knowing, of being sure just faded away. And I have been in that darkness ever since.

Growing up teaches you things, and I realized that I could create my own spark and eventually you will be able to light the path again. In a very, roundabout way, I learnt to just trust it. I don’t know what I am doing for the majority of the time but I know I am here for a reason, I made the decisions that lead me here for a readon. Too many past decisions led me to this oddly specific situation. I have learnt to follow my gut, because it has never let me down.

For many that might sound like the most naive thing that anyone could say. Why would you trust the unknown to such an extent? Why would you put all your money on red when all you see is black? Well, why wouldn’t you? It got you this far. I don’t know where I am going but I am here for the ride.

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